reminders

sometimes i feel down about things.

nothing major; just things.

sometimes work is hard. and tedious.

sometimes meghan is difficult. and tedious.

sometimes marriage is work. and tedious.

sometimes i hurt. and i fear the worst. and that's tedious.

but then i wake up and and open my eyes. there is beauty all around us, if we want to see it.

sometimes it's hard to see the beauty. even tedious at times.

but it's there, and it's real. just waiting to be enjoyed.

i have found it on this morning.

something so simple. just a plant. not a flower or a rose or anything that people might value.

but it's there. and it's beautiful.

vacation part 2: best hotel ever

vacation part 1: water baby

just because

i bought a bunch of sunflowers for my dining table and the way the sun hit them...perfection of nature.

tree huggers

yep, i admit it.

we've turned into hippies and have decided to live off the land.

our girl is sporting a tie dye t-shirt that we made (in the shape of mickey, of course) and she has her very own gloves and tools.

we planted sprouted herbs and plants as well as seeds - and already we have growth! Our corn is flourishing like crazy.

and every day, meghan comes home from school and immediately wants to go out and check on her plants to see if they have grown and then we water them and do gardening (and swimming) after dinner.

we planted corn, tomatoes, a bunch of herbs, beets, swiss chard, peppers, jalapeno, cucumber, green onion, leeks and the list goes on.

i can't wait to eat the fruit of our labor.

my girl

in a lot of ways, i'm just like storm.

love the sun, love to play, loud and obnoxious but lovable the same.

mostly.

but i love this little face and how her tongue is still soft like a puppy's when she licks my hands.

she loves to give kisses. okay, so maybe we aren't too much alike.

heaven and peace

lovin it

i found this on a website from an awesome person named Rachel and thought i'd post it here as a reminder to myself and everyone i know who obsesses about these things - i couldn't have said it better myself.

Why I take the opinion of a glorified piece of plastic and metal is beyond me. Much too often I bow down to it (literally, because it lives under the sink), and wait for it to tell me the value of my life. Am I fat today or thin, high or low, happy or sad, good or bad, successful or a failure? I put so much worth in the numbers that look back at me that sometimes it alters my state of mind. I’ve been doing this weight loss (and gain) thing for a long time; I know that the numbers on the scale aren’t a true representation of who I am or what I’m doing. There are so many factors that go into our weight, especially when living active and healthy lifestyles where you drink lots of water, work out hard, sweat hard, and eat foods that actually have a purpose for being in our bodies. Not to mention that I am a woman and can’t get my brain to make a decision about the color of my bathroom, yet I expect my body weight to be spot on every second of the day. I know this, yet I can’t seem to stop my scale addiction.

Like a drug it lies to me and gives me false promises or false ridicule. If I step on and I’m 5lb lighter I am ecstatic, and naturally I begin to think that I must be doing something right, until I hit a plateau, or get on the next day and have my life shattered because I’m back up two or three pounds. Or there are those days that I am feeling my best, eating right, working out, feeling good, and then the devil calls me to the bathroom sink and tells me that my day will get better if I weigh myself (because it must be as great as I feel). So, with a smile on my face and a bounce in my step I dance over to the devil’s layer and bow down to it once again, looking for love and acceptance from something that smells like my husband’s feet, then I place myself perfectly centered on this little white rectangle and my smile fades, my sunny disposition becomes ice, and my world cracks from the cold. From that point on I begin to rethink my whole existence, my workouts, my food, my everything! Why does it matter how much I weigh, why does it matter how heavy or light I am, who came up with this idea that health and happiness is ultimately determined by a three digit number. My health is determined by that number yes, but not by that number alone. My health is first and foremost determined by the light in my eyes and the joy in my days. My health is determined by the energy and excitement in my actions. My health is determined by the good food I chose to eat, not because I have to but because I want to.

I’m not going to let my scale mess up my good thing. I’m healthy, I’m happy, and I don’t care how much I weigh because unless I plan on beginning a career as bowling ball, nobody else cares either. The fact is, as long as I’m doing my exercise and eating the right food in the right portions I know I’m going to look good and feel better and that is what maters. People don’t ask you to stand on them so they can evaluate the worth of your efforts, so why do we feel the need to stand on an inanimate object and ask it to do the same. When my husband tells me I look good, he doesn’t pick me up first to make sure what he is seeing is real. My clothing doesn’t have a meeting with my scale to discus my success and then shrink or expand based upon my weight. As a matter of fact, my scale can’t tell me half the information about myself that I get from other sources.

I think it’s about time I take my scale off the pedestal that I should be putting myself on. I need to spend more time caring about what I think and feel, instead of what my scale thinks. Like the devil it lies to me and causes me to make bad decisions. I don’t give my doormat, my ottoman, or anything else I put my feet on as much credit, and if I want to stand on something for a life changing response, I will go out and get a doormat that tells me to have a good day every time I step on it, at least that would be healthy encouragement. Today, I throw out my scale and I put my hope and faith where it needs to be! From now on, when I want to know how well I’m doing I will put on a pair of old pants to remind myself how far I’ve come, or I will run around the block and remember when I couldn’t. When I want to feel good about myself I will put an apple w/ 2 tbsp of almond butter in my hand and nothing under my feet. Today’s task, toss the scale and never look toward my feet for affirmation again.

when you wish upon a star

we are back from our magical trip to disney.

i have a million pictures to go through and edit, probably by subject to keep them together.

i took 600 pictures in 5 days. whew.

but for now, i will post what is possibly my favorite picture from the whole trip - and certainly a magical moment for me as a mom.

we went to the castle for dinner on mother's day which was perfect. they give the kids wishing stars and magic wands, then during dinner they have a wishing ceremony where they tell all the kids to close their eyes, rub the star and make a wish - then the lights get dim and the whole dining room shines and sparkles with their wishes.

i caught meghan just as she was making her wish - and oh, how she believes. to anyone that thinks this place is not magical, just look at your children experiencing it.

it just doesn't get any better than that.

who i am

"I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit."
-Dawna Markova

sometimes

all you can hold on to is a flicker of light in the dark.

bookland

she loves to read. and she loves to make a mess.

which means she loves the bookstore because she can do both at the same time.

but that's okay because i'm honestly so happy when we are at the bookstore.

i want her to be whisked away on adventures through books.

i want her to learn to love and appreciate art through glossy pictures.

i want her to love to read and crave more knowledge.

such lofty dreams, i know.

but she can do anything. i just know it.

boys+birthdays+babies+puppies=

i can't believe austin is 18. where does time go?

but as far as perfect days go, this was as close as it gets.

birthdays and puppies and babies and spring = perfect.

what a day.