time-out

this week is already a blur.

lots of work because of the short week, getting everything ready for thanksgiving and meghan's birthday party, going to disney to celebrate her birthday. it's a bit of a whirlwind.

add to that, i've been sick and wake up every morning with my head feeling like it's going to explode. my face hurts so bad that my teeth hurt. gotta love sinus infections.

add to that, meghan is having trouble at night. she has suddenly become acutely aware that bad things happen. last night, as her little lip was quivering and her voice was shaking, she told me that she didn't want anything bad to happen because she will never see me again.

just re-hashing it now makes me want to cry all over again.

and it's partly because it's true. bad things do happen to good people. and sometimes you don't get to see people that you love ever again.

but then the morning comes, and the clouds look like a fluffy, cozy blanket in the sky with the warm sun shining through, and all is right. sometimes you just need the light. and we needed the light today.

i have been dreading her losing innocence and it has come. every day, i notice that she's just a little more grown up, a little more aware of reality. it's just more fun to live in fantasy, which is why i love disney so much.

so this week, when we are all running around like crazy, trying to make everything perfect for the various parties and thanksgiving meals and visiting people we love, i want to take a moment to stop. to breathe it all in, slowly and remember that it's just about being thankful.

last night as i was trying to comfort meghan while she was scared, she said to me that santa brought me her for christmas because i wanted someone just like her. and my god, was she right. it is fitting that she is a thanksgiving baby, because for her, i will always be eternally grateful and thankful.

and it is good.