debauchery - august edition

8.17.10

here's what i love today:

1. meghan sitting on the chair i use to do my physical therapy and giving me a kiss every time i come up to standing position.

2. my awesome dessert concoction last night: natural vanilla ice cream, peanut butter & company dark chocolate dreams peanut butter, and a sprinkling of organic banana chips. shut. up.

3. it's not monday. nuff said.

4. middle of the night showdown with daisy. at 2:30am, i get out of the bathroom. we make eye contact. both of us glance sideways to my pillow. i hurdle a sleeping sean to get to my side of the bed but it was too late. by the time i laid back, she was already curled up on my pillow. she is stealthy. so we shared by pillow. but that's okay because she's soft and squishy.

5. physical therapy today. i get to leave work early and get cracked up and stretched out and rubbed on. my favorite things!

8.16.10

things i love today:

1. my new fitbit. in. love. was worth the bitter (who me?) wait.

2. my new belly button piercing. i've always wanted one.

3. sleeping in, even if it means pissing off people at work.

4. organic vanilla wafers from whole foods. okay, these are not nilla wafers (blech, no thank you) but rather taste like buttery, sweet shortbread heaven. without the pesky calories, chemicals and fat.

5. doing nothing. yep. i was so busy this weekend that doing nothing is about all that sounds good right now. and a nap.

in theory: weekends

weekends are good. in concept.

but they are never as simple as they used to be.

as i was driving to work this morning and thinking about all i needed to get done this weekend, it made me take a look back at how i used to feel about it.

i remember in middle school and high school, if i didn't have weekend plans i was devastated. i say that emphatically - devastated. you would have thought it was the end of the world. oh, the drama.

i couldn't understand how my parents thought it was okay to just sit around and get things done around the house. how is that fun?

now, i'm looking at my list for the next two days:

storm's vet appointment
grocery shopping
sam's club shopping
target to get birthday present for meg's friend
cooking
cleaning
laundry
home repair stuff
mowing the lawn
chuck e cheese birthday party for meg's friend
brewing beer
bucs game
saturday night out with the girls (benefit show in ybor)

i don't even think that's the whole list.

i need to come to work just to get a break.

le sigh.

weekends used to be for fun. now i wish they would slow down and all i had to do was clean and wash clothes.

talk about a total 180 from my high school days.

i remember when we did actually have plans, they usually involved sitting around at someone's house or an empty parking lot and chain smoking cigarettes while talking about "deep" issues and listening to rock music. we thought we were so cool.

but we were bored. and we all swore that when we grew up, we would have things to do.

now i have things to do, and i would rather sit around, listen to rock music while smoking cigarettes and drinking wine. at least i'm legal now.

but alas, times have changed and so have i.

i probably wouldn't go back if you paid me.

but it would be nice to have a weekend of nothing again.

i'm tired just thinking about it.

on swimming and wanting to vomit

i never thought i'd be one of those parents.

tough love. i'm all about it.

i thought.

my girl went to her first swimming lesson tonight.

she happily and excitedly skipped her way to the side of the pool when her class was called.

she flipped her hair over her shoulder, the way she does to show that she's got this.

and then she went underwater.

oh. dear. god.

she screamed. i mean, screamed like she was being drowned.

she went between smiling and screaming, smiling and screaming. as did the teeny baby girl who was with her.

but i expected this after she fell in the pool a couple months ago.

and, when i told her that she was going to take swimming lessons, she politely said no thank you.

tough life chickie, you're going.

so we went.

what i didn't expect was my reaction.

i couldn't sit down.

i paced. i called sean in atlanta. i took a couple pictures. felt like i was going to throw up.

i wanted to run out to that pool, scoop up my baby and get her the hell out of dodge.

but - what would that teach her?

when things are hard and uncomfortable and scary, you quit?

no, not me. and not my girl.

so i busied myself. i checked my phone. called people. texted. looked at merchandise in their little store.

thank god for soundproofing. seriously.

i don't think i could have stood to hear her screams.

but at the end, she came out. she was proud. sniffling, she told me she went underwater but she breathed. she even said she'd come back next week (which is good, as i've paid already for eight weeks and she is learning how to swim whether she likes it or not).

then i bought her m&m's. too bad mommy couldn't buy a drink for herself.

maybe, just maybe - next week daddy can take her...