the importance of self-image

i was angry.

no, not angry. I was seething with fury.

when meghan asked me if she was fat because Nona (his mom, not MY Nonna) said that her belly was fat...there are no words.

and i immediately called sean and told him to talk to his mother. or i would. and let's all be honest and acknowledge that i have a tongue that can cut you when i feel betrayed. she is too fragile for my wrath. this i know.

and he did talk to her and she apologized, not realizing that by her calling herself fat, it made my three year old question the way she looks.

i've thought about this.

i've stewed about this.

i've done some real soul searching.

and i'm angry.

i want her upbringing to be everything mine was not.

i want her to be fed healthy, wholesome food and be taught to listen to her body and not what "should" be done.

i want to teach her that people come in all shapes and sizes, but for HEALTH reasons, we must exercise and eat well - minimally processed food and as little meat as possible.

i think i have a vegetarian on my hands which i'm thrilled for.

but i digress. i love that i have a three year old who works out with me. she does yoga and knows the positions (her favorite is down dog), she does my physical therapy exercises with me, she even uses my elliptical machine.

because it's fun.

and it should be fun.

i want to teach her a love for all things athletic and healthy.

why?

because it's important to me.

why?

honestly, because i feel like i didn't have a good example at any time while growing up.

we are all a product of our upbringing.

nature versus nurture.

unfortunately, my upbringing was filled with fast food, canned food, processed meat, hamburger helper and onion dip.

the only thing of the above list that i even eat anymore is onion dip, but only a healthified, organic version with clean chips.

my point being, i want to be the example.

i don't want her to be like me, struggling for much of her existence with food and body image.

i want to teach her that you don't eat because it's 6pm. you don't eat because you are bored. you don't eat because you are emotional. you don't eat because someone else thinks you should. you don't clean your plate unless you are hungry enough to do so.

she will not be a statistic. i am determined in this.

but i don't beat it into her.

i set a good example. i make it fun. i cook with her. i garden with her. i teach her that food can be wholesome and delicious and fun - and so can exercise.

i so hope this rubs off on her. she is so beautiful in so many ways. i just want her to feel that way too - and strong, healthy and confident.

i feel that way too - but it's from my own journey thanks to no one else but me. i'd like it to be easier on her if possible.

i just want all of the best for her. and what better way to give her the best than to boost her self-image and have her be the healthiest person possible?

these are just a stream of consciousness running together, but writing about it is therapy for me. i was so angry. i'm still a little angry.

but if nothing else, this is my wake up call for what is to come. and i will teach her to love herself and others.