proof that she is my child:

turkey eve

is there such a thing as thanksgiving eve? if there is, that's today.

and i'm at work though there are only a few people here today - which i actually prefer.

poor meghan didn't want me to leave this morning because the only people in her class were boys. and boys are gross. i know this to be true.

she was clinging to me for dear life and saying, "i just want you!"

she had to list all of the people that she loves to stall for time. "i love mama. i love daddy. i love my uncle eric. i love my dogs. you know my dogs, mama? it's yoda, daisy and stormie. i love my friends. guess how many mama...this many! remi, brooke, marley, maddox...and i love my pets..."

the list is long. and so is her stalling.

but i had to go at last because i was dropping off a big food donation from work that i organized to the food bank i chose.

let me tell you, there is no better way to start your day than by giving to others who need it. they were so grateful. and so am i.

i am grateful that i don't need to use a food bank and we can by whatever we want to eat. we can go out to eat. we can nourish our bodies with the best organic food out there. and it's not cheap.

so today, i am grateful for my morning...no matter how long it seems!

time-out

this week is already a blur.

lots of work because of the short week, getting everything ready for thanksgiving and meghan's birthday party, going to disney to celebrate her birthday. it's a bit of a whirlwind.

add to that, i've been sick and wake up every morning with my head feeling like it's going to explode. my face hurts so bad that my teeth hurt. gotta love sinus infections.

add to that, meghan is having trouble at night. she has suddenly become acutely aware that bad things happen. last night, as her little lip was quivering and her voice was shaking, she told me that she didn't want anything bad to happen because she will never see me again.

just re-hashing it now makes me want to cry all over again.

and it's partly because it's true. bad things do happen to good people. and sometimes you don't get to see people that you love ever again.

but then the morning comes, and the clouds look like a fluffy, cozy blanket in the sky with the warm sun shining through, and all is right. sometimes you just need the light. and we needed the light today.

i have been dreading her losing innocence and it has come. every day, i notice that she's just a little more grown up, a little more aware of reality. it's just more fun to live in fantasy, which is why i love disney so much.

so this week, when we are all running around like crazy, trying to make everything perfect for the various parties and thanksgiving meals and visiting people we love, i want to take a moment to stop. to breathe it all in, slowly and remember that it's just about being thankful.

last night as i was trying to comfort meghan while she was scared, she said to me that santa brought me her for christmas because i wanted someone just like her. and my god, was she right. it is fitting that she is a thanksgiving baby, because for her, i will always be eternally grateful and thankful.

and it is good.

why i love florida in november:

11.19.10

1. i am grateful for nice weather.

2. i am grateful for yoda keeping me warm while i'm shivering under the covers at night.

3. i am grateful for birthdays. my girl has one more year until she reaches the 5 year old "no longer classified as a preemie" age. i will cry in gratitude.

4. i am grateful for my girl singing christmas songs on the way to school this morning. oh, how she loves christmas. and so do i.

5. i am grateful for weekends. even though i have a lot to do, it's still not being at work.

absence makes the heart grow fonder

i have found my voice again. and it is good.

i need this today

1. i am grateful for nice weather.

2. i am grateful for my gorgeous girl and the time we spend together.

3. i am grateful for a devoted husband whom i drive crazy.

4. i am grateful for meditation and the peace it brings me.

5. i am grateful for starting over. it's never too late........