1. i am grateful for it being water day at my girl's school. why? because she actually gets moving in the morning instead of fighting me every step of the way.
2. i am grateful that i get time alone with my guy tomorrow. we need it.
3. i am grateful for my yummy lunch. mediterranean lentil salad? oh yeah!
4. i am grateful for feeling enlightened and making choices for myself.
5. i am grateful for making it over three weeks without meat. woot!
Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
perspective
i woke up this morning very cranky. that's being kind.
i was being bitchy and evil.
because i woke up feeling locked up. my SI joint is out again. and i know it's from yoga that i did yesterday.
and i'm angry and bitter because i love yoga and feel like it's such a part of me ---just like running was --- and now it's another thing being taken away from me because of this injury.
so i have to abandon yoga. not forever, i tell myself, just until i get stronger.
i have been faithful - doing my physical therapy strengthening like it's my religion. because i want to be better. i want to feel better. i want to be me again.
and all of this makes me sad and angry and bitter. pity party for one, please.
and then this morning, i was driving to work. i take a shortcut through the projects because it's faster than staying on the main drag.
i see a man, walking. slowly. really, slow. like every step is painful for him. and i immediately feel a quiver because i know how he feels.
but unlike me, he is not in a comfortable car with the air conditioning on.
his hair isn't done, no nice work clothes. in fact, he doesn't even have shoes. he's pushing a grocery cart of his sparse belongings - all he has in the world is in that cart.
and i started to cry. and i'm crying now.
because i'm in pain. but he is too. and the difference is, i can do something about it. i have access to great orthopedic specialists and physical therapists who are helping me.
i complain about the copays, but truthfully, i can afford it.
i have a job that pays good money and has a sense of security in this very uncertain world.
but for an instant, just a moment, i felt a connection to this man. because i know his pain.
except this time, i was crying for him, not for me. i just wanted to help him, to hug him. to tell him i'm sorry.
that i'm sorry for both of us being in pain, but that mostly i'm sorry for feeling pity for myself. because i can't do yoga for a while?
no, i have no reason to complain. and i'm still angry that i'm in pain and that i have to deal with all of this in the first place.
but i'm lucky. and i'm thanking my lucky stars for everything i have.
i was being bitchy and evil.
because i woke up feeling locked up. my SI joint is out again. and i know it's from yoga that i did yesterday.
and i'm angry and bitter because i love yoga and feel like it's such a part of me ---just like running was --- and now it's another thing being taken away from me because of this injury.
so i have to abandon yoga. not forever, i tell myself, just until i get stronger.
i have been faithful - doing my physical therapy strengthening like it's my religion. because i want to be better. i want to feel better. i want to be me again.
and all of this makes me sad and angry and bitter. pity party for one, please.
and then this morning, i was driving to work. i take a shortcut through the projects because it's faster than staying on the main drag.
i see a man, walking. slowly. really, slow. like every step is painful for him. and i immediately feel a quiver because i know how he feels.
but unlike me, he is not in a comfortable car with the air conditioning on.
his hair isn't done, no nice work clothes. in fact, he doesn't even have shoes. he's pushing a grocery cart of his sparse belongings - all he has in the world is in that cart.
and i started to cry. and i'm crying now.
because i'm in pain. but he is too. and the difference is, i can do something about it. i have access to great orthopedic specialists and physical therapists who are helping me.
i complain about the copays, but truthfully, i can afford it.
i have a job that pays good money and has a sense of security in this very uncertain world.
but for an instant, just a moment, i felt a connection to this man. because i know his pain.
except this time, i was crying for him, not for me. i just wanted to help him, to hug him. to tell him i'm sorry.
that i'm sorry for both of us being in pain, but that mostly i'm sorry for feeling pity for myself. because i can't do yoga for a while?
no, i have no reason to complain. and i'm still angry that i'm in pain and that i have to deal with all of this in the first place.
but i'm lucky. and i'm thanking my lucky stars for everything i have.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
i've just decided
i'm moving. yep, i'm moving in to a hotel. don't care which one, as long as it's clean and pretty and classy. we like to pretend we are all those things.
so meg and i definitely share a love of all things fancy hotel related. and it shows.
7.27.10
1. i am grateful for working out this morning and being able to move freely.
2. i am grateful for not really having to worry about things the way that so many others are right now.
3. i am grateful for sleep. and i wish i were sleeping right this moment. cuddled in bed with my yoda.
4. i am grateful for having some quiet today.
5. i am grateful that it's just us tonight.
2. i am grateful for not really having to worry about things the way that so many others are right now.
3. i am grateful for sleep. and i wish i were sleeping right this moment. cuddled in bed with my yoda.
4. i am grateful for having some quiet today.
5. i am grateful that it's just us tonight.
Monday, July 26, 2010
memories
i think this (above) is my favorite picture - ever.
i will never forget this day. taking my girl to animal kingdom while he works. sharing carrot sticks for snacks and meeting minnie mouse. seeing the lion king show for the first time. being afraid of the gorillas. believing with all your heart that this is all real. i want to remember all of this forever.
7.26.10
1. i am grateful the alarm didn't go off this morning. i was tired.
2. i am grateful for time off with my family and watching her face while she sees the main street electrical parade. it's a moment i will never forget.
3. i am grateful that i didn't beat down the foreign tourists who attempted to stand in front of my three year old for the parade after we'd been holding that spot for an hour and a half. i'm crampy and hateful this time of the month so it's a good thing that he was there to calm me down. i have a temper. not very zen-like for sure.
4. i am grateful for a lazy day yesterday. just what i wanted.
5. i am grateful for feeling a little out of place right now. or a lot out of place. but that means i have direction, somewhere to go eventually. i'm going to find it, i just know it.
2. i am grateful for time off with my family and watching her face while she sees the main street electrical parade. it's a moment i will never forget.
3. i am grateful that i didn't beat down the foreign tourists who attempted to stand in front of my three year old for the parade after we'd been holding that spot for an hour and a half. i'm crampy and hateful this time of the month so it's a good thing that he was there to calm me down. i have a temper. not very zen-like for sure.
4. i am grateful for a lazy day yesterday. just what i wanted.
5. i am grateful for feeling a little out of place right now. or a lot out of place. but that means i have direction, somewhere to go eventually. i'm going to find it, i just know it.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
7.22.10
1. i am grateful for yoga at 5am. ahhhhhhhh. peace and movement. it doesn't get better than that.
2. i am grateful for my puppy girls, who insisted on following me to the living room at 5am to watch me do yoga. and by "watch", i mean snore on the couch while i do yoga. but if there's anything better than breathing with yoga, it's watching my girls smile while they sleep all curled up on the couch. i want to eat them up. my girls.
3. i am grateful for my girl this morning in the car, doing animal sounds and telling me that elephants (or efelants, as she calls them) smell like poop. thanks for sharing. then she tells me all the sounds that the letters make. she is so smart. my girl.
4. i am grateful for getting to surprise meghan today with a short trip to disney. or better yet, with a short trip to a hotel, which she seems to be more enamored by. imagine that. but they have phones to play with and call the front desk so how can a castle and princesses compare?!
5. i am grateful for today. i am grateful for change, even if it's scary. i am grateful that i get to be part of history and make that change. but for now, i'm just grateful for today. to wake up, to breathe through yoga poses, to move and feel no pain (ok, just a little), for getting to be so lucky that i can go to disney as much as i want. this is a good life.
and i plan on living it.
2. i am grateful for my puppy girls, who insisted on following me to the living room at 5am to watch me do yoga. and by "watch", i mean snore on the couch while i do yoga. but if there's anything better than breathing with yoga, it's watching my girls smile while they sleep all curled up on the couch. i want to eat them up. my girls.
3. i am grateful for my girl this morning in the car, doing animal sounds and telling me that elephants (or efelants, as she calls them) smell like poop. thanks for sharing. then she tells me all the sounds that the letters make. she is so smart. my girl.
4. i am grateful for getting to surprise meghan today with a short trip to disney. or better yet, with a short trip to a hotel, which she seems to be more enamored by. imagine that. but they have phones to play with and call the front desk so how can a castle and princesses compare?!
5. i am grateful for today. i am grateful for change, even if it's scary. i am grateful that i get to be part of history and make that change. but for now, i'm just grateful for today. to wake up, to breathe through yoga poses, to move and feel no pain (ok, just a little), for getting to be so lucky that i can go to disney as much as i want. this is a good life.
and i plan on living it.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
veggies and things
tomorrow marks two weeks since i have eaten meat.
i didn't know if i want to put it "out there" because i've been met with a lot of criticism and skeptism to say the least.
i don't know if this is forever.
do i consider myself a vegetarian? no. will i ever? maybe, if things pan out.
i saw a movie that changed my life and the way i eat two weeks ago. ever since then, i can't get enough on the subject. i've read (and finished!!) a big book about the industry, have another book ready to read and more in my cart on amazon as soon as i'm finished.
i want to know everything about the food industry and what we put into our bodies.
and while meat tastes good (for the rare times that i ate it anyway to be honest) - i can't stand behind the meat packing industry and give them my money or put their product into my body.
will this last? i don't know. i'm betting it does, but i'm not imposing any "rules" on myself.
all i know is that i'm done supporting the meat industry. fast food restaurants are a distant memory for me as well. meg hasn't even had a happy meal in two weeks. i refuse.
absolutely refuse.
is it hard sometimes? yep. that supreme pizza hut slice at work was calling my name but with meat on it, no way.
and i don't want to support pizza hut either.
every time we buy food or put it in our bodies, we vote for what we want to see from the food industry. well, my vote is in.
they can kiss my ass.
i didn't know if i want to put it "out there" because i've been met with a lot of criticism and skeptism to say the least.
i don't know if this is forever.
do i consider myself a vegetarian? no. will i ever? maybe, if things pan out.
i saw a movie that changed my life and the way i eat two weeks ago. ever since then, i can't get enough on the subject. i've read (and finished!!) a big book about the industry, have another book ready to read and more in my cart on amazon as soon as i'm finished.
i want to know everything about the food industry and what we put into our bodies.
and while meat tastes good (for the rare times that i ate it anyway to be honest) - i can't stand behind the meat packing industry and give them my money or put their product into my body.
will this last? i don't know. i'm betting it does, but i'm not imposing any "rules" on myself.
all i know is that i'm done supporting the meat industry. fast food restaurants are a distant memory for me as well. meg hasn't even had a happy meal in two weeks. i refuse.
absolutely refuse.
is it hard sometimes? yep. that supreme pizza hut slice at work was calling my name but with meat on it, no way.
and i don't want to support pizza hut either.
every time we buy food or put it in our bodies, we vote for what we want to see from the food industry. well, my vote is in.
they can kiss my ass.
good eats
this is vegetarian chili that i made and then topped with avocado, green onions, extra sharp cheddar and of course - hot sauce. it may seem wierd in the summer to have chili but this was perfect with the cool, creamy avocado on top.
grilled eggplant, portabello mushrooms, summer squash, zucchini, and purple onion - with goat cheese in between the layers and served on a bed of sauteed spinach with shallots and lots of fresh garlic. garnished with fresh basil from my garden and an 18 year aged balsamic with a sprinkling of course sea salt.
i have been cooking up a storm. i can't pass up these fresh summer veggies and i want to eat as much as i can before it's fall and time for pumpkin and winter squash.
7.21.10
1. i am grateful that there's only one more day until i surprise meghan and leave for relaxing at disney!
2. i am grateful for my 3 mile workout at 5am. woot!
3. i am grateful for physical therapy today. for one, it feels good and for two, it gets me out of work early. woot again!
4. i am grateful for my awesome leftovers for lunch today. oh yes.
5. i am grateful for no more interviewing candidates. tired of hearing myself talk.
6. i am super duper grateful that my awful dream last night was just that - a dream! i had a nightmare that i was pregnant and it was the worst thing ever. seriously, it was so hard to shake this morning.
2. i am grateful for my 3 mile workout at 5am. woot!
3. i am grateful for physical therapy today. for one, it feels good and for two, it gets me out of work early. woot again!
4. i am grateful for my awesome leftovers for lunch today. oh yes.
5. i am grateful for no more interviewing candidates. tired of hearing myself talk.
6. i am super duper grateful that my awful dream last night was just that - a dream! i had a nightmare that i was pregnant and it was the worst thing ever. seriously, it was so hard to shake this morning.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
7.20.10
1. i am grateful for getting up at 5:15am to workout even though my alarm failed to go off. and because i'm super smart about phone technology, i have no idea why.
2. i am grateful for my girl. oh, she makes me so happy and peaceful. she called me a turkey monkey today and thought it was the funniest thing she's ever heard. i love her so much.
3. i am grateful for breaks and the one i have coming up. it's about time i said TIME OUT and froze life for a few days to just be a family. everyone needs that sometimes.
4. i am grateful for disney. yep. i am so glad they exist, even if they are a corporate beast with underlying evil. i happen to like their brand of evil, against my better judgement.
5. i am grateful for summer. i love that our evenings include swimming and staying up late to play with her.
2. i am grateful for my girl. oh, she makes me so happy and peaceful. she called me a turkey monkey today and thought it was the funniest thing she's ever heard. i love her so much.
3. i am grateful for breaks and the one i have coming up. it's about time i said TIME OUT and froze life for a few days to just be a family. everyone needs that sometimes.
4. i am grateful for disney. yep. i am so glad they exist, even if they are a corporate beast with underlying evil. i happen to like their brand of evil, against my better judgement.
5. i am grateful for summer. i love that our evenings include swimming and staying up late to play with her.
Monday, July 19, 2010
7.19.10
1. i am grateful for good weekends. super mix of relaxing and busy, but fun busy.
2. i am grateful for awesome friends and sunday dinners that morph into pool parties.
3. i am grateful for my girl, who had to be pried off me by a teacher this morning so i could go to work.
4. i am grateful for finishing my book this weekend. i realized something...this is the first book i've finished since meghan was born. how's that for sad?
5. i am grateful for not being involved. sweet heavens above, i am so grateful for that. they are invisible to me like they don't exist and i want to keep it that way forever. i'm not evil and i'm not an angry, vengeful person...but i still never want anything to do with them ever. fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, shame on me. i learn from mistakes. good thing too. because i love my little family and my calm, non-dramatic life. and that's the way it will stay. and i will protect it fiercely or die trying. never. again.
2. i am grateful for awesome friends and sunday dinners that morph into pool parties.
3. i am grateful for my girl, who had to be pried off me by a teacher this morning so i could go to work.
4. i am grateful for finishing my book this weekend. i realized something...this is the first book i've finished since meghan was born. how's that for sad?
5. i am grateful for not being involved. sweet heavens above, i am so grateful for that. they are invisible to me like they don't exist and i want to keep it that way forever. i'm not evil and i'm not an angry, vengeful person...but i still never want anything to do with them ever. fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, shame on me. i learn from mistakes. good thing too. because i love my little family and my calm, non-dramatic life. and that's the way it will stay. and i will protect it fiercely or die trying. never. again.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
7.16.10
1. i am grateful for my 5am workout this morning. so good.
2. i am grateful for my beautiful girl.
3. i am grateful for him being able to stay home this morning with her so i can work and then come home to take care of her.
4. i am grateful for eggplant. not so wierd because it's so gooooood.
5. i am grateful for it being friday. oh yeah.
2. i am grateful for my beautiful girl.
3. i am grateful for him being able to stay home this morning with her so i can work and then come home to take care of her.
4. i am grateful for eggplant. not so wierd because it's so gooooood.
5. i am grateful for it being friday. oh yeah.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
7.15.10
1. i am grateful that he was able to stay home with our poor, sickie girl. she has a 103 degree fever.
2. i am grateful that i ate a yummy bagel this morning. i haven't had a bagel in forever.
3. i am grateful for getting the shopping done so i can enjoy my weekend.
4. i am grateful for getting a short break next week. i can't wait to surprise meghan.
5. i am grateful for knowledgable medical professionals who help me. i will be stronger, better and faster for it.
6. i am NOT grateful that i haven't received my fitbit. at this point, don't even know if i care about it anymore!
2. i am grateful that i ate a yummy bagel this morning. i haven't had a bagel in forever.
3. i am grateful for getting the shopping done so i can enjoy my weekend.
4. i am grateful for getting a short break next week. i can't wait to surprise meghan.
5. i am grateful for knowledgable medical professionals who help me. i will be stronger, better and faster for it.
6. i am NOT grateful that i haven't received my fitbit. at this point, don't even know if i care about it anymore!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
7.14.10
1. i am grateful that the week is half over. for real.
2. i am grateful for feeling good.
3. i am grateful for getting up again at 5am to workout even though i'm so tired.
4. i am grateful for my girl giving me the biggest hug around my legs this morning and telling me i was her best friend.
5. i am grateful that bad dreams are just dreams and not reality. rough night of sleep.
2. i am grateful for feeling good.
3. i am grateful for getting up again at 5am to workout even though i'm so tired.
4. i am grateful for my girl giving me the biggest hug around my legs this morning and telling me i was her best friend.
5. i am grateful that bad dreams are just dreams and not reality. rough night of sleep.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
7.13.10
1. i am grateful for yoga at 5am while he sleeps.
2. i am grateful for pancakes and people i love.
3. i am grateful for enlightenment and having a purpose. and what a life this will be.
4. i am grateful for jumping in the pool with all my clothes on because my girl dared me to. i never turn down a dare.
5. i am grateful for feeling renewed. sometimes all you need is a new sense of commitment to something you believe in.
2. i am grateful for pancakes and people i love.
3. i am grateful for enlightenment and having a purpose. and what a life this will be.
4. i am grateful for jumping in the pool with all my clothes on because my girl dared me to. i never turn down a dare.
5. i am grateful for feeling renewed. sometimes all you need is a new sense of commitment to something you believe in.
Monday, July 12, 2010
7.12.10
1. i am grateful for getting things done this weekend. i'm tired though.
2. i am grateful for my awesome lunch today - falafel with greek salad and homemade tzatziki. oh yum.
3. i am grateful for peace and contentment today.
4. i am grateful for being able to move. so grateful.
5. i am grateful for friends.
2. i am grateful for my awesome lunch today - falafel with greek salad and homemade tzatziki. oh yum.
3. i am grateful for peace and contentment today.
4. i am grateful for being able to move. so grateful.
5. i am grateful for friends.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
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